Hidden Moments

I might start by warning you, this post goes deep into my heart, so it will either bore you, cause you to judge me, open your eyes to truth or bring about a self-inspection toward your own heart in life. The result is up to you…

As I drove home from my brother’s track meet yesterday, I broke down. There was really no particular reason, or so I thought, the Lord just really seems to get me when I am driving a long distance. So as I prayed, and tried to figure out why I was crying, I looked around at the beautiful night sky and a few lights coming from tractors in the field and took in the smell of the open road.

Then it hit me. I had just recently snapped some shots out my car window of the glorious sunset and was enjoying the beauty around me in the almost darkness, but I was just driving by. I’ve grown up looking around, trying not to miss a piece of the beauty the Lord created. But recently, I’ve been avoiding looking deeper because it hurts. Let me explain, I am by NO MEANS a city girl. And I live IN the city. I live the farthest from the nearest cropland I have ever lived (yes, it may only be a few miles, but that’s tough for me). I have no immediate access to big, outdoor, adventure space. And my dreams to travel and share the hidden stories of those working to serve the Lord and feed the world seem so lost lately. So in order to not suffer the sadness and hurt I could living in my situation, I’ve avoided looking around me.

The Lord really convicted me to look deeper into what is around me, even if it does hurt. Feeling that pain is better than becoming numb. I don’t want to miss the beauty He has created, whether it be the beautiful sunset, a person in need, someone I should encourage or build into their life or the flat surroundings that I currently live on.

Ironically, while all of this was going through my mind, I turned on the radio to hear the Jars of Clay song “Dead Man (Carry Me)”. The chorus really spoke to me…

“So carry me-I’m just a dead man-Lying on the carpet-Can’t find a heartbeat-Make me breathe-I wanna be a new man-Tired of the old one-Out with the old plan”

In my moment of reflection, these words just made me understand how dangerous it is to become numb to God’s creation around us…including the life inside of people. If I run from potential hurt, I will never be able to help those around me who are lost. And I will risk becoming part of a daily walk that is dead to Him and to the world. I am just a part of the clutter.

And I realized as I looked out my window, that more deeply than ever, I want to be part what I am seeing all around me. I want to explore deeper…past my outside view…to find what other’s do not or are unable to see. I want to expose the truth that’s hidden behind the picture we all see when driving by. I desire deep in my heart to expose that which is hidden from most viewers. To revive life into the spirit of those who are dead, by showing what is going on behind the scenes. The Lord is at work.

“Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you, which was bestowed on you through prophetic utterance with the laying on of hands by the eldership. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all. Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.” 1 Timothy 4:14-16

As I regain my trust in the Lord to lead me in a direction toward my deepest dreams, I need to soak in the moments around me, and pay heed to the longing in my heart that calls me to stop, take a photo and listen. I might not only learn something, but also be able to share that moment with others. My dreams may be answered yet, but my current calling is to be engaged where I am now.

“Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” -1 Timothy 6:12

So my question to you today is this: Where is your heart? Or are you becoming numb? Are you dead? Or are you engaged in the scenes around you, serving to bring a light to God’s lovely creation? Ultimately, how do you view your situation?


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